So, my poor friend Gage Michael Thomas has never had a girlfriend... So start pulling out your handkerchiefs (or tissues if you're like me and think handkerchiefs are gross) now, you'll need them for the tale I'm going to tell.
If you like sassiness, then Gage is your man.
Gage Thomas, although he has dashing good looks and could charm any girl into joining the "tool box", has never kissed a girl. He's never even held the hand of a girl he likes. I know, it's enough to bring any caring soul to tears. It has gotten so bad, that Gage has resorted to liking sophomores in high school... But don't let this scare you off. Gage is a well-dressed, well-groomed, attractive young man who enjoys playing the piano, watching Parks and Recreation, hanging out with his best friend Megan Hadley, playing tennis, and throwing Mexican fiesta. Gage loves babies... (and when I say love, I mean that I wouldn't be surprised if I saw a news report of him kidnapping a few tightly swaddled new born babies.)
Another plus about him, he's super slender. He is probably one of the skinniest people I know and he has such a hot bod!
Gage puts his seductive skills to work. He is a potential strip club owner and an aspiring pole dancer. He's always up for a good time!
And last, but not least. He's very smart. If you date this kid, you'll be getting a steady income of $10,000 a year with his high school diploma.
If you're interested on giving this sweetie his first kiss, let me know and I can hook you up. He's my best friend and he really is a catch. Love ya, Gagiepoo!
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